|This is faiiy.|
This is a continuation of my earlier blog. But seriously. This shit pisses me off. When I have Anna sleep over, we sleep downstairs because I want to be polite and whatnot.. Don't want to make things awkward for my room mate and such. Not to mention it was usually better that way, since we always had to wake up first to go do stuff (8am classes, taiko on Sundays, etc.) and so him and his girlfriend always got to sleep upstairs (or just him).
So I figured that if it was just me, they would go down to sleep.
Except the one time that happened (because she doesn't sleep over as much anymore), she still slept over upstairs. And it was fucking awkward trying to do stuff while they were sleeping in the bed next to me, and sleeping with them sleeping.. in the bed just over there.
So when Anna and I did that, I didn't give a shit. Besides, he was gone for most of the night and I couldn't tell if he was going to sleep over at his girlfriend's place or come back.. at like 1-2AM.
And now, I'm upstairs and no way in hell am I going down. I'm using my two monitors to help me podcast my stuff, and I'm expecting them to go down. Except they don't. And now they're going to sleep in the bed anyways. WHAT THE FUCK THANKS A LOT FOR BEING CONSIDERATE ASSHOLE. So I don't give a shit if I'm loud or anything (just hope that Anna sleeps through it; thankfully she sleeps heavy). Hope you have problems sleeping, and wake up randomly in the middle of the night.
/end passive-aggressive posts
|This is faiiy.|
I'm not a heavy sleeper. So when I'm trying to FUCKING NAP SINCE I'M PLANNING ON PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER AND YOU'RE FUCKING PLAYING YOUR GOD DAMN MOVIE VIDEO SHIT THE WHOLE TIME THEN I WASTE AN HOUR LYING THERE AND FUMING AT YOU. AND THANKS FOR BEING FUCKING CONSIDERATE BY THE WAY. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO NAP WHILE LYING DOWN WITH THE BLANKET OVER MY FACE AND WHATNOT. SHIT.
AND WHEN I'M TRYING TO FUCKING PODCAST BUT YOU'RE LOUDER THAN MY VOLUME I HAVE TO KEEP FUCKING REWINDING SINCE I CAN'T FOCUS ON WHAT'S BEING SAID AND I GET LOST. THANKS A FUCKING LOT.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SLEEP UPSTAIRS, BETTER NOT CRY WHEN I FUCKING MAKE NOISE AND WHATNOT CAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. IT'S FUCKING FINALS WEEK AND IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE CONSIDERATE TO ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO NAP, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU GUYS.
|This is faiiy.|
I actually have another entry that I've been meaning to write, but after the events of yesterday and today I must write this.
So I love the rain. I think I've mentioned this a few times, but it really makes me happy. I like the rain when it's cold, and I like it when it's warm. I like being in the bus and seeing the windows fog up, and I like the way the rain droplets collect on the windows. I like feeling the pitter patter of it on my body and my face, and feeling drenched at the end of the day. I mention this a lot, but I love the way the ground sounds when the rain falls on it- it sounds like the earth is drinking the rain up, and that thought makes me happy.
That being said, the rain does suck sometimes. Clearly if you're a driver, for multiple obvious reasons. It's also unsettling to walk around campus and see that yellow stuff collecting in the rain. I don't know what it is, but it clearly spells trouble, and possibly chemicals. It's also kinda sad to see all the oil that's collected on the ground, even if it does make a pretty rainbow image. And wet socks. Urgh.
Regardless. I enjoy my rain, even with my wet socks.
|This is faiiy.|
About a year or two ago, I decided to go nursing. The initial reason was a little complicated and had a couple factors to it, but now I have many more reasons for doing it, reasons I'm not really ashamed to mention.
Anyways, to be honest, after I told my parents about it they considered pulling me out of school at first. What's the point of paying another ~$40,000 to graduate with a degree that, in all honesty, is useless to me? And you know, at that point I was really worried. I obviously didn't want to leave UCSD yet, for various reasons, and so I argued that it would be helpful for an accelerated bachelors, or even for getting an ADN instead of BSN (Moorpark gives 10 points for having a bachelors, out of 100 total). And, thankfully, I got to stay.
But now that I'm about to graduate, I feel pretty bad about it. If I had gone with them, I'd have a job (albeit maybe just food service) and be paying off my loans, and I'd probably be applying for nursing school now, or even waiting for acceptance letters. My parents wouldn't have had to pay as much, and I'd have been home to help them with whatever they needed help with.
At the same time, I never would've had the chance to finally become closer to some taiko people, or spend so much time with her. And, honestly, she was the deciding factor that made me stay. As lame as it is.
Anyways. I just want to hurry up and graduate. I pretty much hate chemistry now, and I'm tired of not understanding my physical chem course.
|This is faiiy.|
So lately I've been going around prying information out of people. It's really interesting to see who'll open up and what they'll say. Actually, it's very interesting in a lot of aspects. And that's what I'm writing about.
Well let's see. It started.. one time during practice. She told me about how their relationship wasn't doing well, and I decided to find out more.. Why, I'm not sure. I just thought I'd take a gander at it. So I situated myself near her, and started asking. So. How are you? How are things going? And to my surprise, it worked! Well, anyways.. what I liked about it was having someone sort-of confide in me, and me hopefully being able to help that person in at least one issue in their life.
I think that's what I like the most about being confided in. I used to think it was just knowing things about people, which made me feel special. And to an extent, that is the truth. But at the same time, when I hear people unload, I offer my opinions and stuff and hopefully something I say might ring true with them.
Anyways. Somehow after that, it kinda escalated.
I finally managed to get more out of her.. but I think it took a lot of time and work, mostly with her help. And me telling her that one secret was possibly a large catalyst. But hearing everything was AH so satisfying and exciting. This was actually different because it was SO INTERESTING TO HEAR EVERYTHING but maybe our experiences and some of the random "wisdom" I shared helped her as well. I did try to say a lot of kinda embarrassing and weird stuff, that actually is pretty informative. But who knows?
Well. The point of this is that today was a successful day. Without it really planning to be.
I went to get food with her, since earlier's plan failed. We went and hung out and ran into HER HAHAHAHAHA. Which is important for later. But we sat and talked and ate. Didn't get too far, but it's okay. It's a start. And to be honest, I'm surprised she agreed to begin with.
Part of what surprises me is that I never really thought much of her to begin with. Not until recently, during.. elections I guess? I kind of talked to her a bit when I suggested to her a position, and even though that was pretty much our only talk during then, I feel like it -at least- made us a little closer. Hopefully it's mutual.
But anyways. I think with her, I just want to listen. This isn't necessarily a pry for juicy gossip or interesting information (though I'm sure both will come along), but just to solidify what hopefully can be a good friendship. Prying people is interesting because sometimes you end up seeing someone in a new light.. whether it's from the stuff they reveal making you think about it or how they reveal the things or what they don't, or even what they talk about in general. Because part of prying, to me, is going up to someone I never really talked to and finding out more about them. And part of it is digging deeper, to the interesting stuff.
Anyways. So after practice today I went and talked to HER about what happened earlier, and she told me. This was just her telling me stuff, since she usually seems very open with me and just tells me everything. I hope things turn out okay here, and I kept asking to make sure that this was something she wanted too, but who knows.
After that, I ended up walking with her and we talked a bit about next year. Somehow it turned into a pretty good 2-hour pry session where we talked about a lot. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel I learned a lot more about her and it was nice to get to know her. I hope this way we can become better friends.
What saddens me most is that I'm finally starting to talk to the people in my org. I don't know if it's just that after being around for two years, people are more comfortable with me and will open up, or if they would have opened up from the get-go. Anyways, I generally don't take the initiative for these kinds of things, so I'm pretty surprised that I'm doing it now. And I'm surprised that it's working.
It makes me a little sadder knowing that I'll be graduating so soon, but hopefully I can still keep contact. I might call every so often just to see how things are going.. but that won't mean we'll be good friends. I just don't have it in me to talk to a friend even as often as once a week. I'm not that sociable, I run out of things to say, and it tires me out.
Ah, well. Oh well. Final thoughts?
I hope she ends up happy in the end, whether it works out or not.
I hope someone recognizes that she's a wonderful person, and treats her the way she deserves to be treated.
I hope someone someday provides to her what she provides to those she knows.
A little confusing unless you're her.. maybe. Or if you're one of the above mentioned.
Hm. I always did get along better with girls, I guess.